singinghuggingbrothers

There are certain people in this life that I owe much gratitude toward. Some of them, most of them, go unmentioned in my dreadful day to day “sufferings”. They know who they are and why I am so grateful. Some will never get the mention that they really deserve.

This latest post happens to be a little bit more serious than previous “funny” posts that my brother and I have posted. If you can explain this dream, why are you reading what I am writing?

Well, as it goes;

It was late one evening, and I had no intention to dream the unscrupulous dreams that I had indeed dreamt. Good luck with this one, Freud.

The dream began in a sequence which involved a hopeful life-long friend that I happen to have the up-most respect for, named Brad.

It began with myself asking a bar owner, whose bar I frequent, if the spider infested hangout that we were trying to hide in would be safe from tornadoes. He answered, “No.” He went on to give inscrupulous answers as to why not. We decided to find a safer haven.

Turns out we found Brad’s truck as the tornado rapidly approached. I don’t know exactly what happened from there. I remember begging Brad to hide in the ditch with me, but he wanted to drive on.

That’s all that I remember from that sequence. I wish I could remember more of it, because I vaguely remember that Brad’s brother Dave was somehow involved.

I will keep you posted on my next dream sequence, because they seem to become more and more interesting as time passes us by.

Happy Easter! Have you had your communion?!

Okay, so we know this great big fat guy . . .and we know this little skinny guy. One time we took them both to the same place at the same time. The great big fat guy . . . he got drunk. The little skinny guy . . . he got drunk. They went swimming (manatee & otter) and confused their pants. The great big fat guy tried to squeeze into the little skinny guy’s pants, but couldn’t. Ungraceful. It made him upset, to say the least. Deep-dish meltdown. The hotel manager made us come down to collect Barbar and Itty Bitty. It was sumpin else, I’ll tell ya. We tried to have a cigerette in the northern cold, which was a poor idea. Bankrupt. We really needed to hurry. We found Itty Bitty sleeping across from our hotel room door. We got them both to agree to a deep sleep, but there was quite a struggle first. Pounding on doors, walls, hallways . . .threats from the management . . .upset neighbors . . .blowing smoke under doors. Alas, the threat was diminished. Threaten phone calls to parents if you ever need to subdue a large land mammal. Cannonball! MORAL OF THE STORY: Keep the kids off Jager (take them bowling).

Anyway, it’s Easter Sunday. Brando’s drinking VODKA. Like a dehydrated Russian. Anybody need a hug?!

the brudahs

       Well, my first DUI is officially under my belt.  Tazewell County can be a b**ch that way.  Not as bad as Creve-tucky though.  Now I have to ride Peoria public transportation like the stripper that rode my brother on his birthday.  Try and understand where it is I’m coming from.  In other words, keep between my lines.  

Well, maybe you shouldn’t consume so many alcoholic beverages in such a short period of time and then drive?!  That’s what they make girlfriends for.  D.D.s, yo!  Hootch and then Cootch, right Looch?!  Something in the way she moved me attracted me like no other, but now it’s just alcohol that does that to me.  So . . . Dude am I gay?! 

      Well, that’s all fine and good.  Hey, I got this $10 gift card to BWW.  Want to go have a couple beers?  I’ll drive.

Okay.

        Hang a second.  My Ponderosa itches.

Oh yeah?!  Oh NO! (hence the lack of D.D.s).

       Don’t be too concerned yet, brother.  I checked, no rash.

Blisters?

     Not from what I can tell.  I need to invest in a good hand mirror though.  On another note, I got yer darn salsa off my keyboard.

You been keeping up on the Morton Malaise?! 

       Ummmm…..is that a required read for Bradley? 

No, but for blogpeoria.com.  Seriously HEAVY reading.

      You mean that new XL Radio thang?

S’like biscuits and gravy.

     Oh yeah!! Shake and bake.  Hey, how ’bout the way Peoria handled that last snow storm?  I think only 1,800 people died.

I think a smoking ban would help.

       Oh, really?  You mean, you know, the green stuff?

Sure?!   S’not easy being green.

       

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We’re brothers. And you better believe that we’re drinking, breathing, thinking, and singing. Some of these activities more than others (bracing for cheap shots and jabs now). Sore throats. Raawwww. We’ll do some singing. Sincere and open hearts. It’s a secret chord. It pleases the Lord. Hallelujah. This is dedicated to all of our hearts desires. Bring it. Oh yeah, f**k our faces, f**k our names. We only have our love to send. Give some and you might just get some in return. There’s so much we want to say, but most of those words might just slip away (it’s a slippery slope we’re living on it). It’s the ones that don’t, that also just may register a start. In most of the black and white cases, we still find gray. Arrest us. Dare ya. Drink a case of us. We’ll cover your tab. We’re like muppets, monkeys, or toys, but unfortunately, we’re also still just “real” little boys. Too serious?! Too soon?! Well, we’ve got stars upon ours . . .bright moments amongst our dull lives. Hey! Hoarse voices. With a lingering taste of drinks in our mouth. Can we say Cannonball now?! . . .or will we just be attacked?! Hold yer glass up. Let’s drink to . . .ummmm . . .how about a general compassion for each other?! Oh yeah, we always forget if it is appropriate to laugh at mankinds lack of grace or not via these forums. You might have to help us out there. Feeling bold?! Singing, prancing, and dancing the jig . . .don’t you worry, we’ll come up big!

Oh yeah, the snowfall. Who f**king cares?! How often does it happen?! We got exercise and we made money too. Get yer lazy arse off the couch and shovel some snow. If our snow falls that heavy a couple of times a decade, I don’t think we need to redefine the city budget and cloud the sky with our arms. Take a breather. Meditate on it for just a second. Then exhale. It is important to breathe in as well as out. Enjoy your days off with your family. Same with Hurricanes. Planning is important, but Mother Nature can be a bitch. We should probably start planning for the next major Tornado, no?! Oh yeah, the river may rise as well. Especially with Globabl Warming. Have you budgeted for a canoe?! Personal responsibility is a major key. Have you prayed against the snow . . .the hurricanes . . .the floods?! City hold our hands. Maybe it’s all your faults. Get yer gosh darn rosery beads, yer buddah, yer Muhammad, yer Tom Cruise wisdom off the shelf and start helping to fix our city. Prayer changes things. Help us baby Jesus. Or City. Same difference, right weaklings?! Yellow GIANT! GO CAT! Thanks for your help, I love your boots!

Drinking vodka is better than not. Let me stop . . .to take a shot. Wasted, basted, put me in the oven. Turkey-ometer says done. Brother thinks I’m an alcoholic, but I believe he is a drunk (am not). Constantly consuming the wave. Riding the waves like Val Kilmer, but better. More than half a bottle of McCormick to go, with less than half a night to spare. Better get to work boys and girls. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. The dog keeps smiling at me. I’m off to bed.
Brando

Peoria does definately = durty, but clean ideals, minds, and genitals will make it whole.

Oh yeah, Amber threw up in an ashtray for no reason. Sooooo sorry. Total sympahty . . . .McCormick’s is attached to her mouth like the trunk of an elephant right now. Brrwwwwepphhhhh.